How to Stop Caring about Failure

We've all been there—facing setbacks, stumbling in the pursuit of our goals, and experiencing that sinking feeling of failure. But here's the truth: failure is not the end; it's the beginning of a powerful journey. In this post, we're diving deep into the realm of dealing with failure, armed with practical strategies that go beyond the clichés. You're about to discover how failure can be your secret weapon for growth, resilience, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Let's say someone's lost in a forest. They climb up a tree and find a tall highrise building near the road where the forest's exit lies. And so they go back down and decide to walk straight ahead, but 40 minutes later, they realize that they've been going the wrong way, and now they're further away eastwards from the building. In this case, their goal was to reach the exit, and they've failed by suferring a setback and not reaching their goal as expected. Does this mean they're a failure and that they're not cut out to try to achieve the goal? Should they curl up in defeat and spend the rest of their lives in that forest because of their failure? Of course not. That would sound absurd. However, many of us follow a very similar thought pattern when we fail to reach our goals.

We must realize that failure is part of reaching goals, and probably every successful person you look up to has suffered from failure of all kinds at several instances. Failure is actually useful to us, because its due to the negative feedback that comes with it that tells us that we need to reroute and try to achieve the goal another way. If the traveller didn't realize he was moving farther away from the exit, he'd have an extremely hard time escaping the forest. In this sense, it's good to recognize your failure and use the negative feedback to improve your approach.

When it comes to skill-related goals, failure is essential because its from the negative feedback that your subconscious mechanism will know what not to do. Everything from playing an instrument and learning a new language to improving your conversation skills are processes conducted by your subconscious mind, and it helps you perfect these tasks by not doing what your failures teach you not to do, until eventually the only outcome left is success. So, you must know that although things might be hard, they slowly get easier over time.

Finally, we shouldn't use failure and our own abilities to judge the kind of person we are. An ordinary man wouldn't consider him to be unworthy if he's not as fast at sprinting as Usain Bolt. So why should we compare our abilities to those of other people? And surprisingly enough, it's by detaching our self-worth to our abilties, talents and achievements that we can be able to effectively work towards goals without self-sabotaging and worrying about failure, because we'll know that winning and losing are not that big of a deal, and this makes us deal with tasks with a more calm attitude. Being calm while doing tasks and working towards goals allows you to reach goals much more easily than stressing out about them.

As we wrap up this journey through the realm of dealing with failure, remember that setbacks are not an endpoint, but a redirection. Just like the traveler in the forest, the path to success is rarely linear. What matters is the perspective we adopt when faced with failure. Instead of branding ourselves as failures, let's see failure as a guidepost—a signal that we need to reassess our approach and make adjustments.

Embracing failure with an open heart and a growth-oriented mindset is your secret weapon for success. By redefining failure, cultivating resilience, and honoring your worth beyond achievements, you'll navigate challenges with grace and emerge stronger, wiser, and closer to your aspirations.